Aw, man! Ouch!

Now, I hate to be negative and bring the room down, but, if you’re gonna walk this walk with me, you’re gonna have to do it in my shoes….my fabulous shoes, that is.  I do have some most awesome shoes.  But – I digress….I believe I was about to bring the room down.

Lets talk rejection, shall we?

Imagine, if you will, messaging someone and practically hearing them *swipe!* you….ugh, right?   You can see if someone is online – it clearly says in fluorescent green type “online now!”.   So….as you all know by now, I’m capable of forming somewhat intelligent, somewhat witty-ish sentences, right?  Ok, so – I send my best opening message to an average guy (no need to set the bar too high).  I know he’s on line – then I get the alert that someone has “viewed” me.  So I switch over to that tab – its him – Cute Average Guy!!!  woot-woot!  Then…..nothing…waiting, waiting….I’ll look away for a while, you know the whole ‘watched pot’ theory.  So I walk away…wait, wait wait…come back…..nothing….ouch.   Then – ‘ouch’ turns into “what the hell??  how dare you judge me on my picture!”  See, I would never *swipe!* someone based on looks alone!”  Ugh….karma…yep -this is a perfect example of a karma-smack-down on my ass.

Ok, so I tell myself…”obviously I’m not cute enough.”  Oh, no, wait – no, I tell myself, “Obviously, he’s a jerk!”  oh, no, wait – I tell myself, “I’m just not his type.  Doesn’t mean I’m not appealing, we all can’t be everyone’s type, right? Better to know this now rather than waste my good money on a date with a guy who has $19 until payday and then find out he’s a convict – and I have a rule about that so it’ll never work out.”  But, still…I want to message him and say “You know, its cool you don’t like me….well, not cool exactly because you don’t even know me….but, anyway, I get it, that’s fine – I appreciate the honesty, I suppose.  But – what was it that made you completely ignore me?   Was it my message?  too wordy?  not mysterious enough?  do my pics make me look like a prissy bitch?  I know – the one pic makes me look like I have big hair – ITS A SHADOW!!  I have normal sized hair – I do – I can prove it, I have 299 more selfies on my phone that I didn’t post…hold on, I’ll send them to you.  You’ll see, normal sized hair…then you’ll be knockin’ my door down.  But it’ll be too late, because in all honesty, I think your teeth are too big for your face.  So….*swipe!*”   HA!

Who wants an average guy with horse teeth anyway…..

 

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