Date # 13 (yep – I’ve skipped over date numbers 5-12, you’re welcome…)
“Alwayslooking_73” – Greg
– Ok, yes, I already mentioned that I went out with this hottie. Here’s the whole scoop. He was a gentleman, funny as hell – rough around the edges, but sweet – said what he was thinking but kept it within the realm of ‘socially appropriate’, ya know what I mean? From the moment we started texting we clicked. I know what you’re thinking, I’ve said this before about others. Ok, that’s true. It seems I’m more clickable than I ever knew I was – and there are a lot of me-clickable-people out there, too – they’re all just online, not in the produce section at the grocery store or in front of me at the library as certain friends would suggest. Ok, so yes, I quickly clicked with Greg. From past experience, I realize that clicking via text can happen more frequently than one would think. If I am to be honest, I’ve found that if he’s sexy, but appropriate, he can form complete sentences in good structure and he has a sense of humor – click! I really tried to not get my hopes up….but I did – I think we both did! We pushed our date from the next day to the next hour. We met for drinks at Max & Ermas on my side of town. The entire night – dare I describe it as “magical”??? He was funny, interesting, stable – interested in what I was saying, what I thought about things, who I am, etc. Wow!! This went on for HOURS! What an awesome evening! Of course, eventually, it did have to come to an end, though. So, then….yeah….so then….he walks me to his car and says “I’ll drive you to your car so we can talk more”. Aww…right? We get to my car, and okay, maybe a couple kisses were exchanged…a couple of really nice kisses were exchanged. Then he says, “Do you have hobbies?” I kind of laughed because, as you know, I have no hobbies…I’ve been a mom for 20 years. So, I just thwarted the question a bit, batted my demure eyes at him and asked what his were (which I thought we’d already discussed….). Apparently, he’d not told me all his “hobbies”. He looks at me and says, “I F***”. I held his gaze for a moment thinking that was an exclamation of something more, like “f***, you have the most amazingly demure eyes!”, right? Um, no…”F***, I f***…..that’s my hobby, f***ing. It what I like to do and its what I do all the time, whenever I can – I f***.”
“Oh”, I said, “I pegged you as more of a golfer….”
*swipe!*
#14: “Playinit_thru” – Jerry
Jerry is the first older-than-me guy I’ve gone out with – he is 51. He’s an ex-army guy, special forces and about 5’8 – and wow….is he just beautiful. These intensely kind eyes – just a simple t-shirt and jeans kind of guy – be still my heart….
We met at a Mexican restaurant at 9pm. That was his idea. I don’t see the point in meeting for dinner at 9pm – what are you doing all evening to where you can’t squeeze me in somewhere between 6 and 9pm on a Saturday night? He owns his own business, something about a warehouse and t-shirts, I don’t know really. But, ok, somehow I managed to stay awake until 9pm to meet my Army Man. So, I get there first and wait for him. He arrives wearing a black leather jacket which really brings out his intense, sexy dark eyes. Its all good. We sat down and began eating chips and salsa and chatted a mile a minute. We agreed on just about….NOTHING. But – it was great! We both expressed our opinions maturely, made our points logically and factually trying to sway the other person, but neither were swayed and the intellectual challenge was hot. Yep…it was just hot. The waiter keeps popping in, three or four times, politely asking if we’re ready to order, and my Army Guy keeps saying, with a touch of annoyance in his voice…just a ‘touch’, though, “No, if its alright with you, we’re trying to talk here”. Ok, well, that’s kind of sweet, we are talking and he doesn’t want to interrupt the flow we have going, right? Its like he can read my mind, too – because it’s 10pm now, and I’m just not hungry at this point.
Suddenly, and I do mean ‘suddenly’, Army Guy flags down the waiter and says, “I’ve known what I’ve wanted to order all night because as you know, I come here all the time. I’m really just waiting for her to decide, which it doesn’t seem she’s ever going to”. Ummm…WHAT?!?! I don’t even have a menu!!! You keep telling him we don’t want to eat and now you’re mad at the waiter and your date, (ME!), because we’ve not put an order in??? ugh….I believe things just took an ugly turn….
So I order chicken tacos – they’ve got to be on the menu, wherever said menu might be, of course, and he orders his “The Usual, number 43, please”. Ok…I can overlook this. He obviously is unable to appear wrong…ever…or something, so he makes it look like its MY fault we are ordering dinner, that I don’t even want, 10 minutes before they close. That’s fine. The evening is salvageable. Maybe his blood sugar dropped too low and he can’t control his inner asshole. Ok, so we eat. Tacos – good. Conversation – failing a bit. Ok, maybe that’s my fault. I’m kinda peeved and maybe I’m not super good at hiding it. I’ll be fine….
Then he suggests we go play pool at a bar down the street that has a live band. I love bands! So, yes — I’d love to go! We get there and he orders a beer…that they don’t carry….uh-oh….I see his jaw line tighten. I try to order myself a beer and he interrupts and orders us two drafts. Hmmm…ok, that is also fine, though I didn’t ask for your help in picking out my beer of choice, but, okay, its all good….
So he sets up the pool table, racks up the balls, or whatever you call it, and asks if I want to break. I tell him, “no, thank you – you go right ahead”. So, he gets real close to me, (keep in mind, I’m in 4 inch heels and he’s 5’8 so ‘BigBad ArmyGuy with the Inner Asshole’ and I are the same height, now that we’re not sitting at dinner) so, he grins this weird, tight-lipped grin, and whispers in my ear, “I used to play pool for a living”…….
WTH?? Is he trying to intimidate me? Throw off my game? (of which I have none to throw off in the first place) What just happened here….??
AND – who the hell plays pool for a living – I mean, really?? Was it before army school or after the army, but before you owned your own business of selling your daughters’ T-shirts on e-Bay? when?? when did you make a living at playing pool – and why do I feel like you’re trying to prove something all of a sudden?? AND more importantly – the now BIGGER question would be “Tell me, Mr. ‘PoolPlayingArmyGuyEntrepeneur with the Inner Asshole’, why did I just kick your ass in pool????”
Check please! He couldn’t get a way from me fast enough……lol….looks like I found a hobby!
*swipe!*