So, my friend, who by the way, has been married for 20 years and therefore hasn’t dated in 20 years, tells me “You can’t sleep with a guy until the third date. Its a rule.” First of all, “its a rule” – a rule? Like, do I have to sleep with a guy on the third date? Or, if I wanna sleep with a guy, I need to wait until the third date? I’m not sure I get this. And – this ‘rule’…how does she know? Is there a newsletter or some sort of book – and why is she reading it anyway? She’s married! Or is she reading the rule book from 20 years ago in hopes of keeping me from making a huge dating mistake of some sort….? Maybe that’s it. Yeah, that’s probably it. That’s a good friend right there.
Anyway, I’m not even sure why we were talking about it because I never said I wanted to sleep with anyone. But – I was going on a second date. Do you realize this is my first second date??? I’ve been on a billion first dates – this is my first second date. I guess she felt she should warn me about not letting him ‘get the milk for free’ – or some other sort of 1980 sentiment from the 1980 Rule Book.
My question, though, not that I’m thinking of giving away any milk, of course, but, is it Date #1….2….3….GO!? Or is it date #1….2…then, GO on 3? And – if the milk is seemingly free if you give it on the first date, but somehow by the third date he’s paid for said milk? Technically, the milk is free until he puts a ring on it, right, Beyoncé? I think I may be mixing my metaphors, since one cannot put a ring on milk, but you get the point.
Now that I have the 2nd date under my belt, so to speak, I suppose there may be a third date at some point, right? The second date seemed to have gone pretty good so I guess it could be followed up with a third date. I’m wondering if everyone, male and female, know about this Third Date Sex Rule. Does this guy know? Does he think I’ll be giving him ‘milk’ on our next date?? Is that the only reason I’m getting a third date? Maybe a better rule would be to sleep with a guy on the first date – if he calls you for a second date, then he likes you. If he doesn’t call for a second date, he was just trying to get milk for free and now that he got it, he doesn’t need to pretend to like you anymore. Although I cringe at the thought of sleeping with these guys on the first date – you’ve heard about my dates – but, my rule does seem like it would weed out the jerks faster, right? Of course, I’m not saying one should sleep around or have sex on the first date or the third date for that matter, I’m just saying – I’m not sure I get the reasoning behind this rule. I’m also wondering who all knows of this rule – and is it possible to skip the third date and move on to the fourth? No one has sex on the fourth date, right? Just the third? I wonder if my friend has gotten to the chapter in her rule book regarding what is to occur on the fourth date. Maybe I should find this out before I rush into date #4…..