Let’s pretend I’m a guy, shopping and *swiping!* women. Would I stop on my profile or immediately *swipe!*? I need to look at my profile objectively and see if I have any chance of catching any lookers.
My tag line: “My friends set me up on here, so I thought I’d try it”. Ok, not the catchiest of all tag lines in the history of tag lines, I see that now. I wrote that because I didn’t want men to think I actually chose to be on a dating website – I mean, what kind of loser do you have to be to actually be on a dating website??? Oops…..we’re all on the same site, so by my theory of losers on websites….we’re all losers. I must embrace my loserness!
New tag line: “Don’t mess with imperfection”. Hmm…I like it! Right? I can’t take complete credit, though. Its a song by Saving Jane – I just love it. Its about an amazing, imperfect woman who insists no one try to change her into someone she’s not – love her not only despite her imperfections, but because of them. Yep – that’s my tag line. Perfect! – or, should I say, “Imperfect!”
Ok, pics. ugh…really?? I can’t ask someone to take pics of me, “Hey, will you take some cute pics of me so I can sell myself on line?” Yeah…no…I’ll do it myself. So, to date, I’ve taken approximately 302 selfies. I’ve never taken a selfie in my life – ever. I fear cameras, hate pics of myself, ugh – I mean HATE. Now, I’m snapping selfies left and right – in my car – in my room – outside in the sun – everywhere, and anytime I’m having a decent hair day – I’m shootin’ a selfie. So out of the 302 head shots, I settle on 3 that aren’t horrible. I’m drawing the line at full body shots, though. You don’t have to tell me that you’re secretly into collecting vintage beer cans, and I don’t have to tell you I’m a bit ’rounder’ than what my head shots may or may not indicate. I think that’s fair. There needs to be a little bit of mystery in our non-relationships, right?
Ok, tag line? check. Pics? check. Interests? Wait, what?? Interests? I haven’t had time to develop interests? I’m a mom for gods’ sake! Moms don’t have interests! Alright, I can do this. I like music, and hanging out with my friends. Then I scribbled something about just looking for someone to hang out with – I’m content with my life and don’t need to find a relationship but if the perfect guy fell out of the sky right into my life, I’d have to reconsider that statement. Cute, catchy, non-clingy, confident – yep, I am the whole package. No *swiping!* my ass away, eh?
“Save Profile” – done. Bring it, boys! Here I am – and I’m ready.